Instead of popping pills for help and side effects for E.D., try a simple and very human interaction between you and your partner.

First, do you want rigidity and release? Or do you want to move toward sex communion — sharing deeply and profoundly with your partner? Do you want to celebrate each other?

Pause to think about the two Greek words for time: chronos and kairos; chronos is clock/calendar time while kairos is feeling time. As you read on be sure you are in kairos time — not even a glance at chronos — this is time to feel, enjoy, excite!

A sex therapist writes, Gently stroke each other’s body from head to toe, alternating feather-light touch with hands, nails, fingertips, lips, tongue, hair. Continue to caress … ears, elbows, feet, and every inch in-between.… it's OK to surrender to the delicious erotic sensations, to feel instead of think, to breathe deeply … stroking from the buttocks up the spine and down the back, arms, and legs.

Kiss each others ankles, bottoms of your feet, ears, and wherever between your feelings suggest.

Alternate when you feel like it — each be toucher and touchee. Caress each other at the same time. Alternate these touches with hugs and rubbing of each other’s bodies. Whisper what feels most sensuous and delicious so each of you can respond — tailoring your strokes to the other. The essential quality is feeling — not thinking. The side effects are excitement and to let go into each other’s feelings and souls.

If this does not cure the E.D., simply entangle each other within your arms and legs to enjoy the warm, satisfying, sensual, erotic sensations. Say whatever comes to mind. If repeated celebrations of this mutual enjoying of each other’s selves does not aid the E.D., then consult a physician who can suggest further treatments and their side effects.

Copyright © 2008 John F. Yeaman